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It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy, by Greg Behrendt, Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt
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There’s no doubt about it—breakups suck. But in the first few hours or days or weeks that follow, there’s one important truth you need to recognize: Some things can’t and shouldn’t be fixed, especially that loser who dumped you or forced you to dump him. It’s called a breakup because it’s broken, and starting right here, right now, it’s time to dry your tears, put down that pint of ice cream, log out of his e-mail, and open this book to Chapter One–and start turning your breakup into a breakover.
From Greg Behrendt, the co-author of the smash two-million copy bestseller He’s Just Not That Into You, comes It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken--the ultimate survival guide to getting over Mr. Wrong and reclaiming your inner Superfox. From how to put yourself through “he-tox,” to how to throw yourself a kick-ass pity party, Greg and his wife, Amiira, share their hilarious and helpful roadmap for getting past the heartache and back into the game. You will learn:
• Why you shouldn’t call him—and what he’s thinking when you do
• How to keep your friends and not lose your job
• How to avoid breakup pitfalls: IMing, stalking, having sex with your ex
• Reframing reality—seeing the relationship for what it was
• How to transform yourself into a hot, happening Superfox and get a jump on the better, brighter future that awaits
Complete with an essential workbook to help you put the crazy down on paper and not take it out into the world, It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken is a must-have manual for finding your way back to an even more rocking you.
- Sales Rank: #17186 in Books
- Brand: Behrendt, Greg/ Ruotola-Behrendt, Amiira
- Published on: 2006-09-05
- Released on: 2006-09-05
- Format: Unknown format
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.00" h x .65" w x 5.20" l, .49 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 288 pages
- Harmony
From Publishers Weekly
If He's Just Not That into You told a woman how to spot a man who's not really interested in a relationship with her—and how to deal with it proactively—this follow-up is for those, male and female, who've been blindsided by a breakup after thinking Everything Is Fine. Speaking less this time from a guy's perspective and more as someone who has been dumped and survived, Behrendt tackles the often inevitable symptoms of a broken attachment: the obsessive thinking (and calling and e-mailing), the crying, the debilitating depression (and its effects on one's job performance), the crazy acting-out, the food and spending issues, the friend burnout. This time, Behrendt is aided by his wife, who offers her own breakup stories, with the two together serving as a constant reminder that one can love again. The book is padded with not-so-funny vignettes, and anecdotal letters from readers are answered in a rather wearying Dear Abby style. There's little new or insightful, but Behrendt's frankness—never too harsh—is as winning as ever, and the title is catchy. Everything is more or less in place for this burgeoning franchise.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
From Booklist
Behrendt, coauthor of the wildly popular dating guide He's Just Not That into You (2004), teams up with his wife to offer a how-to guide for coping when a relationship goes south. Both Greg and his wife, Amiira, went through extremely traumatic, drawn-out breakups before finding happiness with each other, and they share the stories of what they did wrong (and what they eventually did right) as they go through the basics of how to survive a breakup: stop calling him or waiting for him to call, don't sit at home moping, avoid wearing sweats (unless exercising), and find a friend to help you through it. They also include letters seeking advice and Greg's responses to them, breakup horror stories, and "psycho confessionals," real tales of women who went too far in reacting to a breakup. The authors take a lighthearted and positive tone throughout their boisterous guide; expect demand from the many readers who made He's Just Not That into You a hit. Kristine Huntley
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved
Review
“You will get through this, and you’ll do it faster with the help of It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken.” —Glamour
“Insightful, been-there-have-the-scars-to-prove-it wisdom.” —New York Post
Most helpful customer reviews
22 of 22 people found the following review helpful.
THE Break-up Bible -- I am a Superfox and you are a Superfox, too!
By 6chickadees
Break-ups SUCK!!!! How can a guy that you are not so sure about at the very beginning of the relationship cause so much heartache at the end? Holy moly – I would do anything to make this pain go away.
I thought I was dating “the one”. Promises were made, he gave me a ring, we were in love (or so I thought!). Then, without warning, he needed a “break” (read “break-up”, I am sure he was just trying to make it sound better). What on earth had I done? There were no warning signs. He went from lovey-dovey to “I can’t talk to you anymore” within a few hours.
What now??? I felt like a piece of me had been torn off. I went through the motions of life, but I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t concentrate. Nothing seemed the same. And I was shocked that others could continue on with life – couldn’t they see how much life had changed (at least for me)? This guy & the break-up was all I could think about.
Then along comes this book. It was a gift from a friend. I crawled into bed and read it in just one sitting (although I wasn’t really sitting, I was curled into a ball). It was like salve on an open wound. I laughed, I cried, I read and re-read. This book was about me and for me. It was like a good friend who knew exactly what to say. It became my break-up bible.
Each chapter had helpful tips to move on. I realized right away that I was living in a “boyfriend torture chamber” and I had to remove all memories of him. I had to get rid of his old texts and stop re-reading them. I had to take his pictures off of my phone. I had to stop stalking his social media to find out if he moved on (accept the fact he is dating Heidi Klum and MOVE-ON! LOL!).
And although I did not see any warning signs, as the book said, he must have left the relationship much earlier. I thought about relationships I had ended. I realized I usually was “over them” a few weeks before I finally broke it off. And when I finally “did the deed”, I felt more relief than anything else. And after the relationship was over, I really did not want to talk to the guy again. That helped me look at this relationship in the same way.
Once I had some time under my belt (the first few weeks SUCKED), I was able to see the relationship for what it was. Not so great after all… like shoes I was convincing myself felt good, but after I got them off and the blisters healed, I realized how much hurt they caused. Like the book said, I was looking at the relationship through rose-colored glasses. Take the glasses off – oh my! The relationship really wasn’t that awesome.
I did take the book’s advice and instead of moping around the house, I spent extra time at the gym, I reorganized my closets, I found time and a place to meditate (it was better than “Netflix and chill” with the ex-guy), and looked into graduate school. At first, I was just going through the motions, but after a few weeks, a new “rockin’” me was emerging. Yay me!!
In addition to this book, I got “Ignore the Guy, Get the Guy, The Art of No Contact” (I highly recommend that book, too). Now, this ex-boyfriend has come sniffing around again. I am not sure I want him back. But, with these 2 books’ help, I feel in control of my emotions. I will not be an option. I will not be a booty call. I will not be a psycho ex-girlfriend. I want to be remembered as “the one that got away”.
I highly recommend this book. I plan to have a few copies on hand to give to girlfriends after a break-up. I am a Superfox and you are a Superfox too!!!
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
It is painful and it sucks
By derpthederp
I am going through a break up right now and I am seeing a therapist. It is painful and it sucks. I didn't have much a hope a book could help, but this book is full of good advise, humor, and really makes me look at the relationship in a different way. It helped me step back and see what was really wrong with the relationship and look at it from a more 'real' perspective. I am still working my way through the book and doing all the exercises it suggests. I'm not saying it will cure my heartbreak but it is a step in a more positive direction then what I was going towards. Some of the 'truths' in the books were hard for me to wrap my head around. I am reading the book in sections to allow myself to fully comprehend and absorb it. I highly recommend this book for anyone going through a painful break up.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Should've Known When I Saw the Cliché Ice Cream Pint on the Front
By Sarah
Bought this book after my 3 year relationship ended (with the man I thought I was going to marry and my first love) and I wasn't too impressed. I'm 25 years old by the way, for reference. It helped to read other people's stories including that of the authors, who are married. It just was a bit too goofy for me with the calling of the audience 'Pretty Lady' and 'Crazy Pants' etc. If that's your thing, you'll love this book. But to me it all felt a bit too juvenile. It also bugged me the way the tone of it was more harsh; I know they say it's tough love but everyone has a different circumstance and I think the book lobs every woman into the category of "he's not interested in you, he doesn't want anything to do with you and he's wanted to leave your ass for a long time now".
Best part is the end where there's the tips to reinvent yourself so to speak and to love you and 'do you' essentially. Which I think we're all guilty of giving up - essentially what we love and we consume ourselves with our partner.
Who wants my copy? Haha
I found true help and amazing advice from this man on YouTube, Matthew Hussey - I highly highly recommend you to search the word breakup and him on YouTube and save yourself the money on this silly book. Also, The Alchemist. Read it
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